QuoteZ — #تکوپدیا

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Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.
“Frankly, I think it’s a piece of crap. It contains all the design mistakes you can make, and manages to even make up a few of its own.” -Linus Torvalds on Mac OS X
“…the number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected…” -Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson, June 1972
“An algorithm must be seen to be believed.” -D. E. Knuth
ACK and you shall receive.
Hiroshima 45, Chernobyl 86, Windows 95
I haven’t lost my mind; it’s backed up on tape somewhere.
A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.
You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!
This web site best viewed using tcpdump.
“You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it.” -Scott McNealy, CEO, Sun Microsystems, Inc.
Got Root?
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
Finish your mail packet! Children are offline in India.
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
Do you like me for my brain or my baud?
Hacking is not magic.
All computers run at the same speed…with the power off.
Do the users of AOL realize AOL runs on a UNIX system? Probably not.
It said, “Insert disk #3,” but only two will fit!
“Software is like sex. It’s better when it’s free.” -Linus Torvalds
Gimme root, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire.
Those who can’t write, write help files.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I…
No program done by a hacker will work unless he is on the system.
This is Linux country. If you listen carefully, you can hear Windows reboot…
“[Unix] is not necessarily evil, like OS/2.” -Peter Norton
Unix is user friendly – it’s just picky about its friends.
Asking whether machines can think is like asking whether submarines can swim.
Linux…because I’m better than you.
Hackers have kernel knowledge.
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. ‘No’ is the answer!
29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast.
Regarding security, WindowsNT is an OS with a ‘Kick me’ sign stuck on it’s back.
My computer’s sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
The software said Windows95 or better, so I got a Mac…
You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
“Unix is simple, but it takes a genius to understand the simplicity.” -Dennis Ritchie
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
“VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use Unix.” -W. Davidson
I write all my critical routines in assembler, and my comedy routines in FORTRAN.
When you open Windows…BUGS GET IN!!!
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
“Emacs is a nice operating system, but I prefer UNIX.” -Tom Christiansen
Behind every good computer — is a jumble of wires ‘n stuff.
Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, HACK!
Calculating in binary code is as easy as 01,10,11.
Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once…
Carpe Aptenodytes! (Seize the Penguins!)
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
C Programmers do it recursively.
I am still waiting for the advent of the computer science groupie.
Drag me, drop me, treat me like an object!
Stack Overflow: Too many pancakes…
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Nice computers don’t go down.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
In a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates?
Error: Sector not found — search behind couch? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
God is real… unless declared an integer.
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
ICMP: The protocol that goes PING!
Life’s unfair – but root password helps!
Linux renders ships, NT is rendering ships useless.
Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS!
Sorry, I’m a sysadmin, not a housekeeper. I don’t do windows.
Unix, BASIC, C, PASCAL, APL, ADA, and PROFANITY spoken here.
“We’re thinking about upgrading from SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5.” -Henry Spencer
Knowing Hypertext Markup Language (HTML) does not make you a programmer.
Security is a myth.
This web site best viewed using your eyes.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Double your drive space – delete Windows!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
“There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.” -Ken Olson, President of DEC, World Future Society Convention, 1977
For a good Prime, call: 22953686867719691230002707821868552601124472329079
“C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.” -Bjarne Stroustrup
“…an Internet browser is a trivial piece of software. There are at least 30 companies that have written very credible Internet browsers, so that’s nothing… ” -Bill Gates, 1995
It’s not a bug, it’s a hidden and seldom used feature.
Network management is like trying to herd cats.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
I hit the CTRL key but I’m still not in control!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
Programmers don’t die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmer: A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
I am a sysadmin because I couldn’t beat a blind monkey in a coding contest.
“Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself — and then a couple more feet, just to be sure.” -Eric Allman
“Unix was never designed to keep people from doing stupid things, because that policy would also keep them from doing clever things.” -Doug Gwyn
“FORTRAN was the language of choice for the same reason that three-legged races are popular.” -Ken Thompson
“I often envy the kids who are 8 years old and hacking the Net. They got to do it 20 years before I did. I had to go off and invent it.” -Vinton Cerf
Yeah, Windows is great… with out it, how the hell would I download Linux?
In God we Trust — all others must use a Digital Certificate.
Mary had a crypto key, she kept it in escrow, and everything that Mary said, the Feds were sure to know.
The UNIX administrator’s view of sex: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; comm; umount; sleep
chmod a+x /bin/laden allow anyone the permission to execute Bin Laden.
Confucius say: He who play in root, eventually kill tree.
“As in certain cults it is possible to kill a process if you know its true name.” -Ken Thompson and Dennis M. Ritchie
“…Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly).” -Matt Welsh
A good magician never reveals his secret; the unbelievable trick becomes simple and obvious once it is explained. So too with UNIX.
Will hack Unix for food.
UNIX — where you can do anything in two keystrokes, or less…
“File names are infinite in length where infinity is set to 255 characters.” -Peter Collinson, “The Unix File System”
UNIX is a trademark of AT&T … AT&T is a modem test command ….
“I had a letter in the post today. It said ‘Gas Bill’. It sounds a tempting offer.” -Alan Cox
“Testing? What’s that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is perfect.” -Linus Torvalds
“The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.” -Linus Torvalds
“Linux… Find out what you’ve been missing while you’ve been rebooting Windows NT.” -Infoworld
“Well, let’s just say, ‘if your VCR is still blinking 12:00, you don’t want Linux’.” -Bruce Perens
A Linux machine! Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
Linux: Choice of a GNU Generation
Unix? What’s that? Is that like Linux?
“Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than ‘Microsoft,’ don’t you?” -Patrick Volkerding
“Your job is being a professor and researcher: That’s one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of minix.” -Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
“Linux is obsolete.” -Andrew Tanenbaum
“And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies.” -Linus Torvalds
“We all know Linux is great…it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.” -Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amsterdam Linux Symposium
MSDOS didn’t get as bad as it is overnight — it took over ten years of careful development.
“Ok, I’m just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also known as “the buggiest kernel ever”. -Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.33
The linuX Files — The Source is Out There.
“C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.” -Dennis M. Ritchie
Why do we have to hide from the police, Daddy? Because we use vi, son. They use emacs.
“The people who created MIME not only should be convicted, they should be shot on the spot.” -Linus Torvalds
“The only way tcsh “rocks” is when the rocks are attached to it’s feet in the deepest part of a very deep lake.” -Linus Torvalds
“Anyone can build a fast processor. The trick is to build a fast system.” -Seymour Cray
Teach programmers not to drink and hack.
USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot”.
“See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too ;-)” -Linus Torvalds
“I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.” -Seymoure Cray when he was informed that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” -Mitch Ratliffe
“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.” -Donald Knuth
“Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.” -E. W. Dijkstra
Dynamic linking error: Your mistake is now everywhere.
“One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.” -Robert Firth
“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” -Jeremy S. Andersen
“The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there’s no law against whacking them around a little.” -Eric Porterfield
“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” -Bill Gates, 1981
Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.” -Dick Brandon
USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue.
On a hacker’s tombstone: CONNECT 1964 – NO CARRIER 1994
If it wasn’t for C, we’d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
“Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.” -Michael Sinz
“First learn computer science and all the theory. Next develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just hack.” -George Carrette
“I’m not a robot like you. I don’t like having disks crammed into me… unless they’re Oreos, and then only in the mouth. — Fry”